to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
I ended up getting extensions for all of my assignments and I am feeling so excited and okay again because this week I pushed myself to do lots of things I didn’t want to do and asked a lot of questions (and thought of a bunch more to ask) that I needed to ask and things are a lot clearer and I realize that for the most part I have a lot more freedom and control than I have been exercising.
Going to try and stay off the internet for a few days to get some work done/hopefully clear my head a little bit
Thank you to everyone who sent kind words/messages in regards to my earlier post, I’m not sure how to say how much I appreciated them other than to say that I really did xxx